Jane and Crudgie

What happened on the date

I’d love to know on what order the questions are asked. I like to think the table manners query comes toward the end of the interview, once all the bile has been expelled. It’s the only reason I can find for such incredible politeness over a date which, when you read the whole thing, sounds as much fun as having your balls waxed.

Photograph: James Turner; Frantzesco Kangaris, both for the Guardian

Lauren and Sam

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What happened on the date

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This date actually went well. Notice ‘top bantz’ from Sam about his date not downing a shot. Lauren’s answer to ‘what we talked about’ is quite telling: 

“Our jobs, five-year plans (I have one, he does not), anti-feminism, the fact that I want to learn taxidermy.”

The “I have one, he does not” is such a burn that Sam is no doubt picking up the ashes of his own head as we speak. And yet they wanted to meet again.

Photograph: James Drew Turner for the Guardian

Laurie and Sophie

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What happened on the date

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I had to put the “awkward moments” in because the “table manners” responses were practically a double-impeccable.

I can’t even imagine why the waiter thought it was appropriate to butt into the date, but it doesn’t seem to have put them off. I do hope they didn’t tip.

Sophie signs off with a “Sure, why not?” – sexy! – while Laurie is more cool, insisting it’ll be nothing more than a “friendly drink”.