Ciara and Andrew

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What happened on the date

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“Bad words.” These are grown-ups. They don’t look the types to throw out loads of C-words over the starters, so I’m guessing “pilly, woo, bum” was as bad as it got. If you can’t curse or drop a few F-bombs on a first date, how are you going to lead up to farting in bed when you’re married?!

As for dessert-sharing – that’s not a first date thing, Andrew. You messed up. But at least he didn’t say “impeccable”.

Photographs: Murdo Macleod for the Guardian

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